DE-POLARIZING THE DEBATE

     

     I've been frustrated lately with how arguments have been going.  I came to a realization and made some changes in my dialogue when debating a topic, and the results have been extraordinarily forthcoming.  I'm sure this is nothing new but perhaps there are perspectives in our thought that have been forgotten and principles that have been abandoned.  For example, a discussion regarding firearms usually goes something like this:

SUZI: Guns are bad and people shouldn't have guns because children get killed and guns are just so dangerous.
CALVIN: I think guns help keep us free and safe from bad guys and we should all have guns in our belts and I believe in the famous old quote, "an armed society is a civil society."

     This debate may sound familiar to you.  Perhaps you've had a similar exchange with someone or you own a television set and have heard this basically every day.  Suzi and Calvin will go at it for hours and they will both present very valid and interesting points.  Or perhaps you've observed something like the following:

SUZI: Seat belts save lives and everybody should wear them.  I think "Click it, or ticket" is a great idea.
CALVIN: Seat belts are great and I always wear mine, but what I do in my car should be my business.  Besides, it is really just an income stream for the city and has little to do with safety.

All of these views have merit and are logical sound arguments.  However, one small change in perspective can shift the debate toward what I think is the real subject of most of these types of arguments.


SUZI: Guns are bad and people shouldn't have guns because children get killed and guns are just so dangerous.
CALVIN: I see.  So you want to voluntarily hand over, to someone else, your authority to make decisions for yourself regarding firearms?

-or-

SUZI: Seat belts save lives and everybody should wear them.  I think "Click it, or ticket" is a great idea.
CALVIN: I see your point but I am just not comfortable giving someone else the authority to decide what is safest for me... especially someone who doesn't even know me.