MAYBE I WILL RUN FOR PRESIDENT!

If you're like me you've been frustrated with the fake politicians, the crony capitalism, the global agendas, the engineered subversion of the family, the corruption, and the general chicanery of our elected officials.  I research, call my representatives, vent on this blog, argue with neighbors (and friends), cry, hand-deliver flyers of encouragement, write inspiring messages of liberty on dollar bills (no, that's not illegal because it's not even real money just a note from a bank issued as an instrument of debt [more on that later]), and I even sometimes think about giving up the fight.  But then I had an epiphany... lightning struck my brain.  I WILL RUN FOR PRESIDENT!

I've done some careful research of electoral victors from the past and have compiled a strategy for what I must do to have a successful campaign that will lead to my election.  

A LIST OF MY CAMPAIGN PROMISES 

1 - I will fight to make sure your energy bills go up.

2 - I promise to make unauthorized changes to the law even though that would be breaking the law.

3 - I will see to it that our soldiers and military personnel are given unrealistic guidelines and while following those rules might be left to die without aid.

4 - I vow to use different departments under my supervision to target and go after those who oppose me and my party.

5 - If you give me money to help get me elected, I will make sure that you get preferential treatment and possibly even receive money at the expense of others.

6 - I will test the limits of how far you will let me go in my quest to infringe on every aspect of your once-private lives.

7 - I will travel to as many countries as I can (at your expense) and tell those people about how much you suck, and that only with my help you won't suck quite as bad anymore.

8 - I will encourage the assassinations of American citizens who are suspected to be traitors/terrorists without a trial, and I reserve the right to define what makes a person a traitor/terrorist (which may change on a daily basis) NOTE: this promise may be used in conjunction with promise #4.

9 - I will lie to you everyday, but you can relax because I will make sure to tell you only what you want to hear.

10 - I will live a lavish and luxurious lifestyle with exotic vacations and an extravagant entourage (all at your expense of course) while condemning others who have wealth and seizing their property to give it to those whom I choose (most likely people I promised favors to) [see promise #5].

I'M COUNTING ON YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!